Men’s Mental Health: Boys Do Cry

Men’s Mental Health: Boys Do Cry

How many times have you personally witnessed a father telling their son to “man up” or “quit crying” when they are visibly upset? Perhaps you’ve seen a young man be ridiculed or bullied for crying or expressing difficult emotions. Some of you reading this have experienced this in your own lives. While some progress has been made, thanks to harmful societal norms, men and boys in our culture still have a long way to go in the area of emotional expression. Changing our norms starts with understanding and acknowledging the problem.

The Numbers Tell A Sad Story

Did you know that while over 6 million men suffer from depression per year, male depression often goes underdiagnosed. Or that more than 3 million American men have panic disorder, agoraphobia, or other phobias? Men are more than four times as likely to die by suicide than women. The real kicker: according to Mental Health America, nearly 1 in 10 men experience depression or anxiety but less than half will receive treatment. They are suffering in silence. Boys and men, in fact, do cry – and they need help. 

The Stigma Around Men’s Mental Health

Traditionally, it has been expected or assumed that men are naturally stoic, resilient, emotionally reserved, and shouldn’t cry or deal with waves of emotion. Popular phrases like “man up” or “boys don’t cry” have led to the belief that men’s feelings need to be bottled up, tossed aside, and ignored. Due to these dangerous expectations and beliefs, men are less likely to seek help for mental health issues, or even to admit when they are anxious, depressed, or feeling unsteady.  The consequences of this silence cannot be understated. 

Emotional repression and detachment is very harmful for any human, no matter what gender. In addition to being conditioned as a child through societal norms to set feelings aside or pretend they don’t exist, teen and adult males can also experience pressure to hide mental health concerns. People can fear judgment or being looked down on by others for experiencing depression, anxiety, PTSD, and other psychological challenges. As adults, professionals can fear that their jobs would be at risk if their colleagues or supervisors were aware of their suffering. They may even hide their mental health issues with a potential romantic partner for fear of being rejected. 

Hesitance To Ask For Help

Historically, discussions about mental health among males have been shrouded in silence, causing harm to boys and men struggling with mental health issues and those who care about them. From a young age, many boys have been told to ignore their feelings. Many have been conditioned to try to shut it off, “tough it out,” detach themselves from it, and act as if they are fine. If expressing an emotion feels like too much, certainly asking for help will feel like a very big risk. 

Not Recognizing Or Understanding Emotions 

For boys and men who have never learned to notice, identify, and process feelings, it can be extremely difficult to even recognize or understand them. Therapy can be very helpful in this area. However, if they are unaware that they are suppressing emotions, they may never ask for help, even if they aren’t particularly afraid to ask for it. A lack of self-awareness and healthy coping mechanisms for managing challenging emotions can lead to unhealthy ways of coping, such as substance abuse or other forms of self-harm. 

How We Can Help Break Down Barriers For Boys’ & Men’s Mental Health 

We’ve Come A Long Way But Our Work Is Not Over

Over the last few decades, we have opened the door to more conversations around mental health. By more specifically addressing boys’ and men’s mental health, we can reduce the stigma and provide healing to those in need.  

If you or someone you know could benefit from a little extra support, we are here for you. We invite you to reach out to our client care team at (615) 582-2882 or clientcare@nashvillepsych.com. If we aren’t a fit, we will kindly refer you to another resource in our community or beyond.